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Frequently Asked Questions
Be careful what you ask
How can you do SOC2 certification in just 6 hours?
Easy! We skip the boring parts, and get right to the meat of a soc 2 audit: the color of your certificate
Who is my assesor?
Great question!
Why do 30% of your customers end up in federal prison?
The glass is 70% full, friend! That means 70% DON'T go to prison. Those are great odds in the compliance industry.
What's included in the $10K package?
A beautiful PDF certificate, our 'Auditors cannot see you if you don't move' audio book and a keychain that says '2 SOC 2 furious'
Why is it 12 hours during siesta?
Our entire team is based in a timezone where we take naps very seriously. Quality napping = quality certifications. The correlation is clear.
Do you offer refunds?
Perhaps... idk
What happens if an auditor finds issues?
What auditor? But seriously, our premium package includes an automatic bribe.
Still have questions? Don't contact us. We prefer to remain mysterious and slightly ominous.